How to Deal with Haters/Bullies/Swagger/etc.

Assalamu'alaikum, everybody...

 
I know what you guys think, when you read the title of this blog. But to be honest, we've been all there. Right? Haters, Bullies, Swagger, Gossipers, Racist... You name it. These people never ending to torment us with their words and the lies that they give to the world (especially, for Muslims). Have you ever heard the proverb: "the tongue is sharper than a sword"? Well, for those negative people, their tongue is their weapon. Unfortunately for some people who felt quite sensitive to what people say, they seemed powerless to deal with people like that and they just cry until they have to feel down, because the talk of the people around them whose words tend to be negative.

I have those experience to, since I was still in primary school. And, because of that I'm becoming an introvert girl. But when the first time I'm wearing hijab, I finally realized that I should change. Fortunately, I'm gonna telling you how I deal with the people like them based on my experience. But, before that I'm going to tell you some descriptions about these people.

What is the description some of these negative people?

Haters:
A person/some people that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

Bullies:
A person/some people who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

Swaggers:
A person/some people who like to live in luxury and boasting what they got.

Racists:
A person/some people with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others.

How to deal with them?

1. Don't argue with them and perpetuate the problem!

Hello? Seriously? Why you want to waste your energy only for arguing with them? They will only make you piss off. Avoid them when they tried to confront you. If you try to serve them, to be honest nobody is going to be win. Like the proverb said: "Lost to ashes, win to charcoal". It's useless, if you serve them. They are more losers than you. Insulting people are no better than the people who are getting insulted. Trust me!

2. They are actually jealous and envy with you.

I know you might be asking: "Are you sure about this, Ninis?" Absolutely, yes! I still remember why my friends from my primary school, my high school, and also my college is always hate me, bully me, etc. I'm laughing when I remember those times, because I know the reasons why they do that to me. They're jealous and envy with me because I'm beautiful and smart (everybody including my Mom said that. and, I don't want to be brag about it). They fear that if they have to compete with me, because I'm so much better than them.

I don't want to ask them why they always do that to me. But basically, people like that will never get any kind of success. Alhamdulillah. :D And, they're making me like who I am now. I'm so grateful with them. Alhamdulillah. I don't want to know anything about them now. I just close my ears and moving forward.

3.  Don't be around that person all the time if you can't help it.

This is my problem until now. I live in my grandmother's house with my Mom and my little sister, because my parents can't bought a house. When my parents was divorced, the problem is getting bigger. My grandmother is always hassle me and my big family, blame us, and so on. Because of her, I always lazy to do anything, including to go to school. And, I'm not always confident to face anyone, especially if I have to meet my extended family. I can't stand to deal with her until I have always cried for her actions.

But, I always like to do something that I like. Traveling. I like to traveling with my Mom and my little sister. And, if I have a chance, I want to do that with my (future) husband. :P I don't want to think the way she thinks and always being around her. I just enjoy my traveling and think nothing.  :D


4. Keep being nice with them.

Vices rewarded with good (unfortunately, this all doesn't work for my grandmother). Do something unexpectedly nice to them, such as give them a present or going somewhere that they really want to go. If they're having some problems, jump in and give them a hand. Or, just say thank you when they're trying to insulting you again.

5. If they're making jokes about you, just speak up!

When you hear the jokes about your ethnicity or your religion, just say to them that you are not comfortable with their jokes. If they're always talking behind you, they're not your friends at all. Just be ready to responses any kind of racism, bullies, etc. If they're laughing behind you, well...I must say that they are the stupidest people in the world! You have to grateful of being who you are.

6. Just do what you like to do.

You want to get back at those who have hurt you? Do something, which they thought and they said that you would never be able to do it. If you succeed in whatever job you do and you love, they will definitely shut their mouth up and sorry for having hurt you. So, don't ever give up on your dreams that you have always wanted to achieve.

7. Leave it all to God.

Strong people won't tell the problem to the world, but they face the problem with a smile and a request for help to God. It's a little bit cheesy. But, that's the truth. If you feel you're facing a very severe problem, leave it all to God. Praying, reading scripture,...whatever makes you comfortable (of course) in accordance with the teachings of your religion. Do it all. I'm sure, slowly but surely wound in your heart will be close though it must leave a mark that you can't forget.

8. Whatever you're feeling right now, just smile.

Really? Yes. I remember what my professor in my first college was said: "If you're angry, just smile". Yep. He's right. And, it works for me. Only smile that can make your heart feels better, even if that smile is forced smile. With a smile, we will be more patient in the face of any event that became our ordeal.

I hope you like this blog and enjoy to read it. Thank you. Assalamu'alaikum!